Should You Take Back A Cheater?
You're reading Should You Take Back A Cheater?, posted on Monday, July 28th, 2008 at 12:38 pm in Breaking Up, on BrainBloggers at the Relationship Guide blog. More after the jump.
Being cheated on is one of the worst things that can happen to someone in a relationship. It makes you feel worthless and it is hard to recover from. It leaves you on an emotional rollercoaster for months and in so much pain that you feel you will not be able to get past it.
Some cheaters will try to change and convince you to take them back but many of us aren’t sure whether or not we should take them back. Can they be trusted and can we een forgive them? No doubt about it, it’s difficult to deal with a cheater, and you’re not alone. Research shows that even among married couples, cheating is relatively common: about 22% of men and 13% of women cheat. According to recent studies, even spouses who describe themselves as “happy” with their marriage have affairs.
But the good news is this: Some couples who share strong chemistry can actually work through the crisis of an affair. Not only that, they can become closer and put an end to cheating once and for all. In some cases, couples can learn and grow from the painful emotional hurricane, otherwise known as the aftermath of an affair.
Of course, there are promiscuous players who will cheat and cheat and cheat again. These are the ones you truly have to stay away from. How do you tell if you’re dealing with a chronic cheater? Here are five signs that may indicate a former cheater is not a chronic case and that the relationship still has hope:
1. Your partner is truly remorseful and regrets having cheated. Look for heartfelt apologies that ring true when you hear them. He/she accepts total blame for his/her betrayal.
2. Your partner cuts off all contact with the relationship perpetrator.
3. He/she shows a renewed appreciation and devotion towards you.
4. You wind up having deep, open, and honest conversations with each other about your relationship, including what was missing in it and how you’d like it to progress.
5. Your partner wants psychotherapy or counseling either individually or with you to understand his/her own dynamics and to improve your relationship.
If the former cheater shows these signs and you can forgive him/her, consider taking your partner back. Yet, be aware that taking your partner back carries one caveat: There’s a possibility your partner will slip back into infidelity.